Deadlines

Lately my spirit-guide, Tara, and I  have been putting a lot of time and effort into honing our respective crafts. I am a knitter, spinner, crocheter, and Tara is a knitter, spinner, dyer, quilter, seamstress-extraordinaire. Now, those are a lot of hats to change between, but we're managing it without losing steam, or dedication.

Part of how we're further focusing on our craft, is that we've started to go to festivals, crawls, and classes. About two years ago now, Tara and I decided to attend the Oregon Flock & Fiber Festival  (OFFF) which is held in Canby, Oregon every September. We had such a blast with the fiber, and the alpacas, and the people, that we decided to make it part of our regular itinerary. In fact, we've already started plotting our bucket list of crafty events for the whole year!

One of our many friends from OFFF

March has us participating in the Rose City Yarn Crawl (which we attended and completed last year as well), April will bring us the Knot Another Fiber Festival, and September will bring us back around to the OFFF.

Each time Tara and I attend one of these crafty events, I find that both our friendship and our dedication to our craft just gets stronger and stronger. It's an amazing feeling to be surrounded by people who all have the same passion, and who know the struggle of dropping stitches, and not finishing projects, and dropping stitches, and running out of yarn, and DROPPING STITCHES!

But all that being said, I've had one insurmountable problem in attending these events... I can't bring myself to wear anything that I've knitted. Tara rolls up in wonderful hand-knit socks, and scarves, and dresses she's sewn herself, and it's wonderful to see her light up with confidence when people compliment her talent and skill, but I can't manage to put myself out there like her.

So in name of growth and furthering of my craft, I have given myself two deadlines to complete by the Knot Another Fiber Festival, which I will then wear to the festival. One of which is the Raglan Sweater.

I've now split off the sleeves and am just working on the body. 13 beautiful inches of stockinette stitch to complete before I come back to knit the sleeves. I know it looks a little bit... lumpy right now, but hopefully that blocks out.

The other one is another Clapotis by Kate Gilbert.

I'm using a beautiful yarn from Indie Dyer Collective In The Deep Hue Sea. I picked it up at the Columbia Gorge Fiber Festival (Which has been renamed as the Knot Another Fiber Festival) last year and it has been on my "to knit" list forever. This particular skein is the lace-weight version of the colorway Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Between the name and the colors, I couldn't not get it... I actually got one skein on one day of the festival (which I'm using for Clapotis now), and then went back to the booth on the last day of the festival and got myself another skein, because it was so pretty and squishy. I"m a sucker for pretty and squishy.

So I'll let you lovelies know how the progress on those goes. I'm feeling pretty good about their progress now, as I have another 89 days to make sure these are off the needles and blocked. Keep your fingers crossed for me...

P.S. Here are two things that made me stupid happy recently.

Digdug got a new dragon toy that's as big as he is.

My degree finally came in the mail. I'm officially a graduate.

Muscle Memory

Hello my lovelies!

Today I've been thinking a lot about starting new things. New knitting projects, new video games, new workout regiments, just "New". Let me tell you, there is nothing wrong with "new". I will never be the person to tell you not to try the new thing (unless the new thing is eating copious amounts of Taco Bell, that I simply cannot condone).

But there is something to be said for the old and the familiar. I have re-read the Harry Potter books dozens of times, I've watched Jurassic Park so many times that you wouldn't believe me if I told you the number, and I tend to make the same comfort food recipes over and over.

When it comes to knitting, my dears, the familiar pattern that I keep coming back to is a basic, top down Raglan sweater.

This particular pattern can be found here.

 There's something about the neat little shoulder increases and the uniformity of the stockinette stitches that just sends me to a happy place... I've knit many over the years, from sock weight to bulky, from toddler size to one large enough to fit a beluga of a man. They're just a peaceful little garment.

I've been working on a new one, just for me.

It's not much yet, but I think one day soon it might actually resemble a sweater.

Out of all the Raglan sweaters I've ever knit, I have never ever kept one for myself. I think it'll be nice, maybe just this once, to make something just for me... 90% of the knit wear I produce ends up going into the Christmas bin for gifts come the holidays. I like to knit fun, bright, exciting things, but I'm not one for wearing fun, bright or exciting things. I think an off-white pullover will suit my style just fine.

The point is, my sweets, that new and shiny things are great, but sometimes you just need the old and familiar. Sometimes your brain just needs a little break, and you can rely on muscle memory to take you to a happier place.

P.S. because he seems to be a crowd favorite, here is Digdug being adorable:

Stay well, my lovelies.

New Year, Same ol' me

Hello my lovelies, hope you all had a wonderful New Years celebration! I, myself, got to spend time with some of my closest friends playing board games, drinking, and eating good food (Cheers to Connor for the vegan burgers he made, they were amazing!). I didn't get much knitting done, but that might not be a bad thing. Knitting and champagne don't always mix well together...

With the new year, at least for me, there always comes a sense of wanting to be better. Wanting to do more and follow through on projects and just be more organized over-all. That manifested itself on New Years Day with me digging out my entire stash and attempting to get organized. The first step, of course, was to throw everything on the bed.

Digdug thought I was making a bed for him...

And once I started sorting and organizing into weights, fiber contents, project ideas and whatnots, I found something surprising... I had two projects filed away in the stash that were mere rows away from being finished. Of course I immediately had to stop cleaning and finish said projects.

The first was a cable hat that I cannot remember when I started or what the yarn is or who is responsible for this beautiful pattern.

Does anyone recognize this pattern?
I hate not giving credit when it's due...

This lovely thing was just lurking in the stash, all the cabling finished, just needing some responsible soul to close it up and give it a good blocking. So that's exactly what I did!

The second project just waiting to be finished is a bit embarrassing... I remember working on this project while sitting in Mr. Walker's chemistry class... Sophomore year... Of High School. For those of you not in the know, that would have been approximately ten years ago. TEN. YEARS. I have been sitting on this project for a damn decade. My procrastination level is over 9,000.

The project itself is none other than the wonderful Clapotis by Kate Gilbert. All I had to do was cast off and give it a block. So I threw that off the needles and immediately into the sink.

Post block, this thing is lovely.

It's squishy and bouncy and makes me feel very, very French. While I'm wearing it I feel like I should be on a balcony overlooking a Parisian market, chain smoking and day-drinking wine. Or maybe that's just what I normally want to be doing... Who knows.

And it just wouldn't be New Years without a start on a new project:

Any guesses on what it's going to shape up to be?

Themes

I think that if my life was going to have a theme, it would be: "Well that shit didn't pan out, did it? Ya dummie..."

That's not to say that my life is bad, I absolutely love what I've accomplished! But coming back here, home to my dear, sweet blog, it always slaps me in the face how different my life is than I thought it would be. I guess no one ever knows how things are going to shake out, I just happen to have a published internet log of all the directions I thought my life would go and almost none of those things worked out.

But I've never had a problem with starting over, now have I?

That's not to say that things have been easy. I'm embarrassed to admit that after losing my little family, I spiraled a bit and did some things that I'm not proud of. Selfish things, only designed to make myself feel better for a little while. I would apologize if I thought it would mean anything, but what could I say? "Hey, sorry I was a total bitch but I was really, really sad." Doesn't seem like it would do the trick. All I could do at the time was keep my head down and keep breathing.

I'm doing better now though! I finished that Legal Studies degree out of sheer spite (I swear, spite is what got me through my darkest of moments), however I'm not currently working in the legal field. Turns out I happen to be really good at turning a wrench, and landed an amazing job (with awesome benefits, I might add) at a Semi-conductor company. It's a bit complicated but the short version is that our company helps make micro-chips. One of the perks of the gig? Connor works upstairs for the same company!

Connor, Tara, and myself in Vancouver BC

We're all still solid friends, of course. I guess some things don't change after all? Tara and I still have the best crafty conversations, and we've really been inspiring one another to pursue our passions! She taught me how to spin and I help her carry her spoils back to the car whenever we go to a fiber festival! I think it's a fair trade.

Due to Tara's wisdom I've developed skills I never would have pursued otherwise. I've found quite a lot of happiness in spinning, and seem to be doing okay at it so far.

After plying, before washing

After washing, drying, and winding.

 We already have passes to the Knot Another Fiber Festival that's taking place in Silverton, OR this April. We've been debating on which classes to take. There are just so many good ones to choose from... Let's just say that Stephanie Pearl-McPhee and Judith MacKenzie are high on my list of people to learn from.

And I still knit, of course:


I'm a sucker for gradients...

And Christmas knitting for 2017 went swimmingly. I got a lot of love for the presents handed out this year. Lauren and Sarah are finally old enough that I don't have to worry about them washing their hand knits, or setting them on fire or anything.

There's also the guy. Or should I say, there's two guys... There's my wonderful partner, Ryan, who has supported me in all of my endeavors for over a year now:

And then there's Digdug who, although he's a recent addition to the household, is already a crowd favorite:

Pretty sure he's half Pomeranian, half Muppet.

Between these two handsome devils, good friends, and good fiber, I'm doing better than I have in a long time.

Stay tuned for the next episode: "Is she actually back to blogging or is this just a fluke?"

Unforseeable Circumstances

I never wanted to have to write this. Hell, I never thought this would even be a possibility but here it goes...

I do not have my little family anymore.

I know it seems sudden, just a few weeks ago I was talking about family, being a mother figure, and about life-long commitment, yet here I am single and without my little Goose by my side (or in my lap, or trying to push all the keys on my keyboard, or smooshing my face in between her teeny hands and laughing at my silly expressions). Let me tell you my lovlies, this has hit me like a Mack truck to the chest.

I refuse to participate in the blame game, I think that's a sophomoric response to grief that too many grown adults fall into and it isn't productive to anyone. What I will say is this: It takes two to tango. In every break-up, separation, divorce, there is almost always flaws and failings in both parties. I also have to believe that if both people are invested enough, they can work through any problem. With all that said, however, it is simply impossible for one person in a relationship to hold together something broken, no matter how hard they try.

Sometimes it seems like life is determined to trample you into the mud until there's nothing left of you but broken bones and shattered expectations, and it is so easy to just lay there and resign yourself to the pain and disappointment. If you learn nothing else from me my lovelies, learn this: Although it is not always possible to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, it is always possible to keep breathing (unless you literally die, in that case you just do you). And maybe that's what this post is to me, a ragged exhale that leads to another and another with the distant hope that one day my bones won't be broken anymore.

Until then I'll just have to keep breathing, and working, and going to school, and knitting, and at the end of it all, if all else fails, I can always find comfort in the fact that I did my best.

Busy Bee

Today is the 9th of April, and in a mere 4 days my lovlies, I will be hopping on a plane with Adeline, Jarred's brother, Jarred's mom, and her fiance, and where will we be going you ask? To Fort Benning Georgia to see Jarred graduate from Army Basic Training! Needless to say it's been a little crazy around here, getting everything ready for the trip, making sure that Addie will have everything she needs on the airplane to keep entertained. It should be rather interesting, I've traveled the world before but never with a toddler...

Another thing to keep me busy other than Jarred graduating and coming home, I'm going back to school! I got accepted into this great Paralegal program at a small private college it's a condensed program so in a year and a half I'll be a certified Paralegal with an Associates of Applied Science in Legal Studies. Let me tell you, sometimes it takes a little while, my lovlies, to find what you really want to do in this world, and let me also tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But that's a rant of self discovery for another time, the point of this post is that I'm a very busy little bee, but not too busy to spend a little time on the things that I love.

 

 Every time I've had a spare moment in the last few weeks, I've worked on a row or two of this garter stitch scarf. It's made from some bargain-bin yarn that's supposed to be the colors of some sports team, but I don't really do the sports (much to Jarred's chagrin). So I just assume that it's supposed to represent the Hufflepuff House, which is totally my House (Yes, I'm a Potterhead, don't act surprised)! It took a while... If my math is correct then I spent approximately ten and a half hours doing the same stitch over and over and over. I found it weirdly therapeutic. So much of my life has been a little outside my control lately so it was meditative to do something so repetitive. That sounds kind of odd doesn't it?

 

Please ignore the naked dolls on the table, Addie's new favorite thing to do is undress her barbies.

 I also knit up a little hat for Goose. She quite liked it, five minutes after this was taken it became a sleeping bag for her barbies. She doesn't really use it as a hat anymore, but as long as she uses it for something I'm pleased.

I've worked halfheartedly on a couple other projects here and there but nothing to show off, but you guys know I do some of my best knitting on planes so I'm sure I'll crank out something interesting. And a last bit of parting advice before I go, no matter how busy you are always make time for being a little silly with someone you love. 

Heyyy stranger...

This is sufficiently awkward. I mean, last time we talked I was all: "I'm going to make an effort to come back to you blog, be patient with me and let's learn and change and grow together!" and then I was gone. What can I say, other than I'm sorry? One day you think you're fine and you've gotten back on the horse, train, whatever, and then next day you're out a job, back living with your mom, and single, and you look at your blog full of adventures and smiles and good times and you just feel like a failure. Even thinking about writing about your now lame life feels like the kind of narcissism that you only see in celebrities who are famous for doing nothing. I debated not coming back at all, or starting something a new blog entirely, but then I remembered that I really liked my blog title and didn't want to lose it so spent 20 minutes trying to remember my logon password.

So let me see if I can catch you up, it has been a loooooong while. Where to start?

Connor and I broke up, a while ago now, but that's not the important part. The important part is that we're still swell friends. Sometimes things don't work out, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. There is no universal law in the Big Book of Breakups that you cannot be friends with your ex.

This is us posing with some creepy creature at the putt putt course, because nothing says "We still like and respect each other" like participating in an alien themed mini-golf tournament.

Besides if we hadn't gone our separate ways romantically speaking he would have never gotten together with the ethereal beautiful and amazingly clever Tara, who I'm pretty sure is a magical fairy from an alternate dimension made entirely out of light and beauty (both the dimension and Tara herself are made out of light and beauty in this scenario).

She's just the tops. We have the greatest crafting conversations.

Let's see, what else is new since we last chatted....

Well there's Jason:

Jason and his lovely lady Hannah

It's weird to think that the last time I wrote a blog, there was no Jason (because obviously he could not have existed before he met me!). You remember that job I talked about losing earlier? Jason was my boss at said job, and let me tell you, he was very bossy! Don't worry, he didn't fire me or anything like that (that would have put a strain on the friendship!) but after working together for a while we did become BFFs (or "besties" as he, so manly, describes it). He is like my brother, my Obi-wan, and my Jimmeny Cricket all rolled into one. And our families have played along in this bestie business too, it's awesome! My mom has kind of unofficially adopted him and he's a player in all the major events like Thanksgiving and Christmas. And his family does awesome things like invites me to Disney World with them.

That is not even a joke, they took me to Disney World with them on their family vacation. It was so beyond amazing, and don't even get me started on going to Orlando Studios and visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, because I will never stop talking about it. The long and short of it is that he and his family are neat.

So a lot has changed in the recent years but let me introduce the most important piece to you, my family:

This is my family. My boyfriend Jarred and his daughter Adeline.

Jarred and I met through work (I have a new job now, can't stay unemployed forever!) and even from the first day I had a huge crush on him. He ended up getting a job somewhere else so that he could ask me out (our first date we went to a comic book shop, it was perfect). He is clever and kind and the absolute best father to Adeline.

He is also a Soldier in the United States Army National Guard.

He looks so serious here, but he's the biggest softie ever, I swear.

Right now he's away for training in Georgia and Adeline and I miss him something fierce. He's been away for exactly 96 days but the good news is that he's due home in a few weeks!

Until then it's me and Gooseberry (I call her such because she is one silly goose) with love and support from all of his family and mine.

It's crazy how things happen, isn't it? A few years ago I was traveling the world with no major life goal, riding elephants, and eating things from food carts that were seriously questionable, and now I have my own little family; a soldier and a little one to care for and protect. Three years ago if you had asked me where I would be in the spring of 2016 I would have said on a plane or maybe working just long enough to afford another ticket out of town. I never expected this, but I don't think I've ever been more satisfied.

Yes, this is my little sister Lauren graduating High School. Yikes!

The gang! Jason, myself, Connor, and Tom.

Stay tuned for more from this crazy life. Next time I swear to Stephanie Pearl-McPhee that I will post photos and stories of my knitting adventures.